Parent/Teen


<<Just a start to maybe being something. Simply Today’s Mental Ramblings.>>

I’m beginning to see how teen yrs are very much like depression and should be ‘treated’ in the same way.

Signs and symptoms of depression (from my experience): seclusion/isolation. Lack of conversation. Being exaggerated-ly upset over something that seems trivial to the parent. Scowls. Eye rolls. Tears. Feeling like it’s an acceptable habit to wear pajamas all day. Thinking it is okay to skip an essential beauty task on a recurring basis (ie: brushing your hair, brushing your teeth, changing your clothes, not showering, etc.). Not wanting to go to the store WITH MOM, but wanting to spend open till close at the MALL. Not being as present in my life…

How do you treat depression: GIVE THEM LOVE, TIME, ATTENTION, LISTEN TO THEM, TALK TO THEM!

In order to feel better, a depressed person must: LEARN to love yourself. LEARN to develop yourself. LEARN to laugh. Move your body. Change your state. Explore … yourself. Emotionally, mentally, physically. LEARN to take a minute to smell the roses; don’t rush through life, it will end soon enough. LEARN to forgive. Realize that healthy people generally do the best they can within their ability, try your best not to fall into a judge-ment-ality that you can’t see their reality is simply different from yours. LEARN to accept love. LEARN to love. LEARN to let go. LEARN to listen. LEARN to change your perspective. LEARN to accept change for what it is = life. LEARN to appreciate. LEARN to communicate.

(I’ve actually considered, in the past, writing a book for the teenage population. Perhaps I should re-focus there.)

What harm would it do to assume all teens are going through a depression, maybe WE as parents can LEARN better ways to help treat them at the earliest signs, continuing maintenance care for years to come? Maybe WE as PARENTS can LEARN from THEM, if only we could be as open-minded as we thought we were. The happier they are, the better they hide it.

I can see the childhood joy slowly drain from my daughter’s eyes, and its crushing my heart. Cynicism is rampant. She always feels like we expect too much, under-appreciate her/her opinions/her help and never notice anything good instead of the faults. If only she could see my reactions, messages, concerns, wishes and hopes, envy and pride for her as I intend them. If only she understood my dreams and philosophies and very specific methods in raising her, trying to give her the most amazing start to life as I could ever in a million years give to her. If only she could feel so deeply the love I have for her.

I look at my 2yr old son and see an overflowing glow that comes from not being forced to live outside of his own perception, and I wish with all my heart that my little girl could have held onto that preciousness of life for as long as possible.

She’s only 12. But she’s noticing the world, with micro-scope eyes and feeling within her that her natural response is not what she’s perceived she’s been taught all her life… There is where the zit begins to form.

She’s beginning to reflect to me what she’s ‘picked-up’ from my horribly-naïve mothering skills, which are now undoubtedly engrained in her process to some degree. 😦 And it’s come to my attention that I’m not the person-to-her, that I thought I was. She sees things in me that I pride myself for having become, and she nonchalantly explains that I in-fact suck worst in that area of my personality. *Of course, she didn’t Say it as harshly. It actually sounded similar to: “Why do you write like that? It doesn’t sound like you. It sounds so cheery and your so…not. Your just not as happy as you sound when you write.” [OUCH! Don’t you see my smiles every day? Don’t I tell you I love you? Sometimes I wish you could just hear my thoughts. You would see how observant I am. You would hear all my compliments to you/ my adoration for you/ and my pride and honor in getting to be YOUR mom.] Perhaps one day I will learn that to her, in her eyes, I’m more magnanimous than I never thought I could be. (Ya know, I get what I focus on! (: )

She’s emerging from her shell, and in my wildest dreams I couldn’t have assumed her more spectacularly fantastic than she truly is  in all her perfectly-neurotic, grossly-underestimated, beautifully-wonderful self.

~ by Flawless Destiny on April 21, 2012.

One Response to “Parent/Teen”

  1. Thanks for sharing the Shutaf blog!

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